"My father wanted me to be a banker..."

- Elton John (whose father was a British military officer) in a public service announcement from the 90s

"Your father didn't like you. I don't think he ever liked you."

- Elton John's mother to her son during a 1992 interview with Rolling Stone magazine discussing the singer's drug addiction issues


A couple of things before I start on this:

- This episode was recorded off of WFAA in Dallas (the radio station apparently has now changed its call letters, but WFAA's been a big presence in the D/FW area for awhile. I absolutely love the woman's voice singing the station ID (what do you call those in the business, Charlie) "(oooh...ooooh....wahhhhhh) W..FA-Aaaaaaaaaaa." Almost sounded "Karen Carpenteresque" (talk about a radio contemporary.)

- Prior to it, I also enjoyed the Brazilian(?) sounding music underneath the bank commercial where the bank president's name was said after the bank's name. Talk about "old-time" radio...

- I've gotten to where it's bittersweet to hear the late William "Pronto...si 'Anthony Price'" Redfield in the RMT. He was from what I could gather the first regular RMT actor to leave us, dying young of leukemia somewhere around the late 70s.

As for the program...

I listened to this a second time yesterday to make sure I wasn't hearing things. Given Ms. Eric's penchant for incorporating psychological studies into her plays, I still believe that the detachment Anthony Price felt for his father, and the deep longings it created within him, are central to this play.

Recalling the initial conversation between Mr. Price and his father's attorney, we learn that apparently he'd not seen his father for 10 years. I got the impression that they hadn't even spoken during that time. One also got the impression that the father may not have thought highly of his son's career choice. Now, I don't think we learned how the elder Price got his own money, but I've been aware of situations where a father who got his money in "traditional" careers are at odds with sons who want more non-traditional ones, such as what Anthony chose. The result isn't always pleasant.

Anthony also says that when the money for his plane ticket was cabled he thought about just pocketing it. That alone pretty much tells us everything we need to know about their relationship. It was solidified for me when he was given news of his father's death. Shock, but no tears. In fact, the news of his inheritance seemed to be of greater magnitude to him.

Fast forward to when he's in the park, after he's learned that even his wildest fantasies, when all fulfilled, couldn't bring him happiness. Cort Benson (also without a dog) strikes up a conversation with him about feral dogs (which Benson's character describes as "dogs without a home"). Their conversation turns to their father's failings, and also to Benson's own self-confessed failings as a father. While I don't fully agree with Benson's character's thoughts on religion, he's correct that, to a child, a father is quite often their initial perception of God...good or bad. And he was even more correct in saying, or at least hinting, that when a father's human, imperfect traits become evident, that so much happens when we fail to forgive him for those imperfections.

I wonder what Stephen King would think of that logic?

Friends, this was a sobering episode for me. I'm reminded of Elton John, whose had his own battles with sexuality (he was briefly married, then came out as a homosexual, but admitted a couple of years ago apparently without embarrassment that he strongly notices women with gorgeous figures), drug addiction, and especially financial woes. For those of you who grew up with the RMT, you remember that Elton was a money-spinning one-man Three Dog Night. He, apparently like "Anthony Price", came to have everything in his worldly dreams. Yet so often I've read of him as a man who has struggled in many, many ways. We may never know how, or even if, he's dealt with the issues of his father. It goes without saying that if Elton grew up with his father, "god" with a little "g", not "liking" him, it deeply and profoundly affected him.

I read a story of a man who "came out" of gayness, a self-confessed "ex-gay". He recalled how when his father died he didn't cry at all. He also said how he'd come to realize that issues he'd had of rejecting his father's love, at the same time so desperately craving his father's love [i:112ff9395e]and approval[/i:112ff9395e], had come to shape him, or maybe a better term is, stunt his maturity. He believed (like many do) that it was a central though not the only factor in his sexuality.

Anthony Price (apparently) wasn't gay. Neither am I. Unfortunately, I've shared a bit of both Elton's and Anthony's story, and that's why this hit home.

As a young boy, I wanted a brother or sister in the worst way. I never got one. Instead of appreciating the love my parents gave me as an only child, I secretly harbored a great deal of anger toward my Dad and blamed him solely for that situation. At around age 10 I started emotionally pushing him away. He died a horrible, protracted death from esophagal cancer in 1975 when I was 15. I honestly can't remember telling him at any period in his 9 month sickness that I loved him. When my Grandma told me he'd died (I was outside playing) tears came into my eyes, but I didn't cry. I couldn't cry.

Without going into nearly twenty-five years worth of experience, let me just say, that decision I made caused me almost incalculable hurt, and problems both in my own life and of those around me, particulary my wonderful wife. Why? Because (as I responded to chicagomilam) as a Christian everything I see tells me God has designed fathers to, ideally, serve as a model for love, nurturing and affirmation to their children, especially for boys. And when somehow that bond is broken (and it's all to often going to happen in this fallen world) there can be dire consequences. Unfortunately, I lived them.

But, as E.G. says, this was a "success story, or a story about success." Friends, when I finally put 2+2 together (with God's help) and understood all this, and of the problems I'd caused myself by choosing to push my Dad away, and essentially choosing not to fully grow up...I can't tell you what a turnaround it made in my life. Is everything perfect? No. But I can understand now, and more importantly (as Cort Benson's character suggested) I could then forgive. You don't know what freedom that brought.

Sorry to be so long-winded, but for me, this story was perfectly clear. And Ms. Eric ended it perfectly. If "Anthony Price" indeed made the discoveries I think he was making, we would have needed at least one more full program for him to tell us about them.

Those of you who can, hug your loving fathers today or at least call and tell them you love them. If you need to forgive them of something, do so, or at least please try to seek God's help in allowing you to do so. The results are nothing short of wondrous, and wonderful.